Monday, December 27, 2010

The Demonic Hag

"I’m the one who growls in your closet; I’m the one who lives under your bed."
Alice Cooper – Lullaby

In the beginning...

The small boy was having fun playing in his grandparent’s kitchen. He always liked it here because there was such a big area to play with his toys. All the rooms in the house were big, but the kitchen was always nice and quiet for him to play by himself this time of night.

He could hear the comforting drone of the TV coming from the living room, where all of the grownups were watching something he really had no interest in. He was content to play out here by himself while the rest of the big family were only a room away.

He was lost in happy thoughts, pushing his toy car back and forth, when he began to hear something peculiar. Very soon, he realized it was a sound he had heard before. A low, ominous hum that continued on and on, unbroken in a continuous monotone. And he didn’t like it at all. It was a scary sound. The boy was sure it marked the arrival of something very bad.

Almost as if on cue, the light in the kitchen was gradually overwhelmed by a darkness that was most definitely emanating from the same place the awful sound was coming from, the door to the back porch. The only light now came from the living room, which all of a sudden seemed very far away to the little boy.

The boy called out in a trembling voice to the adults in the living room, but none of them answered. He was out here in this terrifying darkness, without the safety and protection of his family, who didn’t seem to know that he was in danger. It wasn’t so much the darkness that he was afraid of, or that he was alone. What really frightened him was that he didn’t think that he really was alone out here in this awful darkness.

As soon as the boy gained the fortitude to think of fleeing to the safety of the living room, he began to realize that he felt a pull from the direction of the back porch door, as if gravity itself had been skewed slightly in that direction. He knew if he tried to stand he would be pulled faster towards the back porch, so the boy stayed on his hands and knees, having to use all of his little might to crawl to the safety of the living room, one slow, agonizing bit at a time; his toy forgotten and left behind.

He still felt no safety as he finally made it to the door of the living room. The boy could sense a terrible presence in the kitchen behind him. And it was coming ever closer. He didn’t turn around to look for fear of what he might see there. He had to try to move faster so this unseen horror couldn’t catch him and drag him away, back into the darkness. If only he could make it to one of the adults…

But as the little boy looked at the faces of the grownups, he saw a distance in their eyes, and none of them seemed to be moving at all. They didn’t appear to even know he was there. There would be no safety, even here. And when he finally crawled all the way to the middle of the living room, the boy could sense the evil presence from the darkness standing right behind him, waiting.

After what seemed like an eternity, the little boy mustered up all the bravery he could, and turned to look at his stalker. What he saw was a mask of pure evil staring back at him. It resembled a very ugly old woman, at first, but this thing was obviously not quite human.

She was short compared to an adult, but much taller than the boy. Her clothing was a dreary brown and gray that looked like something that belonged on a peasant from hundreds of years ago. Her dull grayish skin didn’t appear so much wrinkled as it seemed as if it didn’t quite fit right.

The old hag’s teeth just didn’t look like they belonged to a human. They seemed way too sharp, and there seemed to be too many of them. She had what appeared to be fangs like those of a wolf. And the whole set of teeth looked just a little bit too big for her mouth, which was set in a cruel grin.

…And those terrible eyes! Those dark, hollow eyes seemed to bore right through the boy. Some people say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. If this evil creature had a soul, her eyes would scream that her soul was violently insane! It was those eyes that made the boy turn his face back to the floor in terror.

“That’s right! Down on all fours with your face to the ground,” the old hag screeched angrily. “Soon I will make you my dog,” she continued. In his little boy mind, the boy thought that last part was very strange. He knew from stories that witches turned people into frogs, not dogs. He wondered why she would say something like that, but he dared not speak up to correct her.

The hag spoke again, “You seem very compliant, so I will offer you a deal, dog. I have a question for you. All you have to do is answer yes to my question, and this will all be over for you forever. Otherwise I will keep coming back, and I won’t be so nice then. I can do very bad things to you.”

Even though he was just a few years old, and he was having trouble understanding most of what she meant, the boy somehow knew even before she asked it, that he should never say yes to the hag’s question. So even though the boy thought it might mean certain death, he looked up and simply said to the evil creature, “No!”

This infuriated the already seemingly angry witch! “You dare say no to me, you miserable dog! Do you think the horror I will inflict will be limited to only you! Your whole family will suffer right along with you, so don’t think they can ever help you against me,” she screamed at him.

The demonic hag, still facing the boy, abruptly began to float backwards towards the back of the house from where she came, as if in a movie being played in reverse. Before the hideous old crone disappeared back into the darkness, she said one last thing, “This is over for now, but I’ll be back! I will never let you go! The rest of your life will be nothing but hell!”

The little boy didn’t care right then if she would be back or not. All he cared about was that she was gone for now. Everything was okay, for now.


Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Nightmare In The Forest

There is something unusual that I had never done before... until last night. I've been on many hiking adventures in the forest, and at most times of the day. But I had never attempted to go hiking in the forest in the middle of the night. It was last night that I decided to change that. I thought it would be a thrilling experience, but it turned out to be a decision that I will now regret forever.

When I set out I took all of my usual stuff, and I included a flashlight. I figured I'd only use it if I needed it though, because while you could see better with it on, you couldn't get the full experience of night hiking. Plus you could also get caught easier when you weren't supposed to be there. These places I go are only open during the day. I didn't want to get into trouble, but my curiosity got the best of me, so off I went.

As I got there I realized that I wouldn't have to use the flashlight for awhile because it was a clear night and the moon was shining enough for me to see just fine in the dark for now. I tried to take a few pictures but quickly realized that the camera wasn't going to pick up anything at all. It was a shame I wasn't going to be able to share this, but at least I would have the memories.

After walking for awhile, and as I got deep into the forest, it became hard enough to see that I decided to finally take out my flashlight. Besides, I didn't think anyone would see it while I was this deep in the wilderness. What kind of idiot would come out here to catch me? I was extremely proud of my own intelligence at that point though.

Just as I was about to turn on the flashlight, I heard something very strange coming from up ahead of me, and it sounded like a low moaning. What could it be all the way out here? I decided I had to investigate this strange sound. Who wouldn't want to find out this mystery? As I got closer, it became clear that the moaning sound was human, and it was at least a dozen voices.

By this time I was becoming more than a little concerned. The moaning had become a steady chanting sound, and I didn't like it one bit. I had been sure I would be all alone when I came out here, and now I was greeted with this deep scary chorus of voices. For some odd reason I never thought of turning around and leaving. I decided to find out what was happening.

I was now glad I never turned on the flashlight. I slowly crept forward towards the sounds of the chanting, which seemed to be coming from a place where I knew there was a large clearing in the forest. That was a good thing because it was so dark now that I could barely see my own hand in front of my face. A little farther on I began to see a light. It was coming from the clearing, and as I guessed, so were the chanting voices.

I moved to just outside the edge of the clearing and peeked through the branches of the bushes in front of me. What I saw was too strange for my own eyes to believe! The voices were coming from twelve black robed human shapes. They were each holding hands with the two next to them to form a complete circle. As they moved from side to side, they were all looking to the center of the circle where the light was coming from.

The chanting began to grow louder, but I couldn't tell if they were actually saying any kind of language. It was just then that I noticed another robed figure! This one was standing in the very center of the circle, illuminated by that strange light. I figured I could see that figure because it was a little taller than the others. I watched as that one just stood there in one spot. It seemed to be just looking at all of the others.

After a few seconds I got another shock. The middle figure seemed to grow even taller than it was before. I began thinking that there was no way this tall thing could be human! It must have grown almost twice as tall as any of the others! I was now so scared I couldn't move! Still, I knew I also felt compelled to keep watching to find out what they were up to.

Then all of a sudden, as quick as a flash the tall figure whipped its head around to my direction! I knew that it was looking right at me. It was the eyes! The eyes glowed a horrible blood red! Those eyes seemed to be able to see right into my soul! I thought I was going to die right there! How could I not drop dead from fright? "Noooo!!!"

It was instinct that now drove me! Without any human thought left in my head, I jumped up from my formerly hidden position and turned and ran as fast as I could through the forest towards the front of the park! I had to get out of there! I couldn't see anything in front of me, and I quickly ran right into a tree! Bam!

I hit so hard that I bounced off the tree and fell onto my back. But I was so driven by fear and adrenaline that I jumped right back to my feet, completely disregarding the thought of injury. I renewed my flight to safety out of the forest. I had a few more similar incidents as I stumbled my way out of the forest and to my awaiting truck. I quickly jumped in and sped towards the safety of home!

I began typing all of this almost right after I got in the door of my house, so excuse any mistakes or typos. I'm now looking at what I have written, wondering what is going to happen next. That horrible creature saw me, I just know it!

Oh God, what am I going to do!!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Rat Tails Homemade Spaghetti Recipe

I have a wonderful recipe for homemade spaghetti that has been handed down from generation to generation. This recipe takes quite a bit of work, but it is well worth it if you really want it to come out just right. I have never had anything else quite like it, and after you taste it you will agree! Now I’m going to bring this never before shared recipe to you. It’s such… a wonderful… thing.

Serves: 6

  • 10 live rats
  • 26 additional rat tails
  • 1/4 cup fresh maggots
  • 4 cups unflushed toilet water
  • 5 cloves garlic, chopped

  1. Firmly holding each live rat over a saucepan, slit that little buggers throat. And now, this is important, squeeze thoroughly until every ounce of blood drains out into the saucepan.
  2. Remove the tails from each rat, and place into separate pile. You should have 36 tails altogether.
  3. Using a meat cleaver, chop off the heads and the limbs from each rat. Chop! Put them aside to be used later.
  4. To debone the rat, using a skinning knife, and cut away the tissue from around the back end, near what’s left of the tailbone, enough to grip it with a few fingers.
  5. Now place the rat on it’s side, and grip the tailbone with your fingers. Position the knife just in front of your hand in the place on the rat where you cut away the tissue, holding it still and very firmly. Pull the rat towards you with your hand as hard and steady as you can. This will cut through the ribs, but also slice the backbone from the rest of the rat. Do this for both sides.
  6. Use a similar technique for the rest of the bones. You can figure it out. If you cut yourself, don’t worry, it will just help add a little extra spice to the meal.
  7. Back to the rat heads. Using a teaspoon, scoop out the brains through the hole in the throat. Set the brains aside for now.
  8. Put the rat heads in a strong burlap sack, and place the other bones on the floor. Now, this is important, use that sack of heads to smash those other bones good! Smash ‘em! Smash ‘em real good! Keep swinging that sack until you only have little bits left, even in that bag! Sweep up the remains and put them in a pile.
  9. Put the now boneless rat remains, including the skin and fur(they’re the tastiest parts), in a good food processor. Make sure you have a good one. Never skimp on price when it comes to chopping your food. Use the right setting to get a finely ground consistency.
  10. Preheat a large cooking pot to 350 degrees, and place your ground rat into it along with you chopped garlic. Do not use a skillet! Do you understand me! You better not use a skillet if you know what’s good for you! Cook your rat meat only long enough for the outside to slightly brown, stirring as you go. We want the inside to remain a healthy red.
  11. Pour the blood you saved over the rat meat, and mix it all together. Let it all sit and gather in the flavors.
  12. Scoop the contents into a large bowl so we can reuse the dirty pot for the rat brains. Brown the rat brains the same way we did the other meat, in the juices that are left over in the pot. These are the meatballs! Yummy! When they are done,let them sit in the cooling pot.
  13. We won’t be using the bones again. I just wanted to smash them. Smash! Smash smash smash! Smash ‘em good! D’you hear!
  14. Now pour your toilet water into another large cooking pot. Bring it to a boil and chuck the rat tails in. Let them boil until they develop a translucent sheen.
  15. When they look finished, pour them out into the sink. Pick up the rat tails with a pair of tongs so you don’t burn yourself. Place an equal amount on each plate.
  16. Now spoon out an equal amount of the rat meat on each plate of rat tails.
  17. Put 4 rat brains on each plate. That leaves 2 for you to taste now. Goody, goody!
  18. Garnish each meal with a liberal amount of fresh maggots. Your spaghetti is now ready to eat!
Molto delizioso!

Have a question about this recipe? Ask in our handy dandy comments section!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Nothing At All

"You were a vampire, and now I am nothing at all."
Concrete Blonde - Bloodletting

How could this night get any worse? Her date had been going well right up until she came back out of the restroom. It had only taken just a few minutes, but when she came back out he was gone. He had been a jerk anyway. All he did throughout dinner was sit there bragging about himself. While she stood there looking at his empty chair, the waiter showed up with the check!

She’d been glad that she had driven her own car to the restaurant. But now on the way home her car decided to break down! It also didn’t help that it was on the most deserted stretch of road along the way. Isn’t that the way it always happens?

On top of all that, when she reached into her purse for her cellphone, she discovered that it was nowhere to be found! What was she going to do now! This just obviously wasn’t her night. She decided she had no choice but to just walk through this dark, deserted road in the woods to the nearest house to ask to use their phone.

She felt completely miserable having to be in this place. The old rotted leaves on the ground of a forest always smelled like a sewer to her, especially on a hot summer night like this one. It was one of those nights where it was so hot that every stitch of clothing you had on became instantly glued to your body. And there was no sound except the occasional skritching of little rodents under the leaves of the forest. And soon, even they became eerily silent.

Soon after the sounds of the forest died away, she saw something odd up ahead by the side of the road. At first glance it looked like the shadow of just another tree. But as her mind focused more closely on the figure standing there beside the road, it appeared to look more like a tall thin man in dark clothes. She called out to him, but there was no answer, only the soft whisper of the distant wind. Was this silent figure really a person? The small bit of moonlight passing down through the treetops to the darkness of the forest must be playing tricks on her.

But then she began to hear a sound. Coming from the direction of the dark figure was a slow, drawn out, hissing whisper that cut through the night like the sharp edge of a sword, "Come to meeee..."

She began to move forward before she even knew it. She knew she was somehow being compelled by that voice. She didn't want to go, but she didn't know how to stop. It was as if her body was being controlled by that voice and not her own thoughts. The dark figure began to come into view more clearly as she stepped ever closer. She could now see that it was a man. Or at least, it looked like a man.

His skin had a pale white sheen like the belly of a soggy dead fish. His eyes were like two red-hot coals, burning into her where she stood. His lips were like two big, writhing leeches pressed against each other. And on each side of his mouth there were two long, pointed white teeth sticking out and down. They reminded her of the fangs of a spider. The man-thing had on dark clothing that hung from his body as if it were wet. The material looked almost like the rotted old wet leaves from the bottom of the forest floor. And the smell. The smell coming from him was like the stink of a rotting dead animal.

As she was involuntarily drawn right up to him, she now understood what he really was. This horrible creature was a vampire. But this was obviously no romance novel vampire. This was the real thing. A real vampire! How could the story tellers have turned these evil, disgusting things into the pretty boys that they show in the movies? This evil beast was an abomination from hell! And she was totally and helplessly at his mercy.

Then as the vampire leaned in and bit into the jugular vein in her neck there was an intense, searing pain. Why was there so much pain! She struggled to break free, but he only gripped her harder! So hard that she felt one of her ribs snap. The thing now seemed to be trying to squeeze the blood out of her. After what seemed like an eternity she began to lose consciousness. She wondered… would she dream of better things?

But it was not just her blood that was draining out of her body; it was also her soul that was torn out. The vampire was eating her soul away! What many people don’t know is that it is not exactly blood that a vampire craves. The vampire’s real hunger is for the human soul. We always wonder where the soul is located in our bodies. It originates in our heart, and is pumped throughout our bodies along with our blood. Heart and soul, that’s the old saying. Drinking the living blood is the only way a vampire may consume a human soul.

So, for the dying woman, there would be no heaven, or even hell. It’s only the human soul that goes to one of those places. After death there is only the soul, but not if it has been devoured by an evil creature such as this vampire.

As the last of the woman’s blood and soul were drained out of her, the body slumped down out of the grip of the vampire. She was not just dead. Death would have been much better for her. And no, she was not going to be turned into a vampire like him so she could live forever in a fairy tale of darkness. That was a romance novel myth. She would not go to heaven, or even to hell. For her, there would be no afterlife. You had to have the consciousness of a soul to even exist. The empty husk of a body that she used to inhabit wasn't her either anymore. She was not even a disembodied spirit. She was once a living, breathing person.

Now she is nothing at all.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Face The Computer

here was once a man who just loved technology. He had to have every new gadget that came along. He loved it when cars all began to have power windows instead of those old window cranks; not because he wanted to be relieved of the work of turning the crank, but all because he liked being able to push those delightful buttons.

When home computers were invented, he was one of the first people to have one. He got video game systems just to see how the games worked. He absolutely loved cellular phones. It didn't matter if he talked to anyone or not, he just liked the idea that they existed. He always wondered what new personal technology they would come up with next.

It was computers though that really held his fascination.  He could sit at his computer all day long, forgetting that the rest of the world even existed. He would neglect everything if he could. Only bodily functions or work could get in his way. He even knew it wasn't really a wise thing to become so obsessed with something, but this was his passion! He had to have his computer, even if to only sit and play solitaire all day long.

There came a time though when he got up from the computer to do some bothersome, but necessary things. It was the oddest thing, but out of the corner of his eye he could have sworn he saw something very strange on the computer screen. It shouldn't have been there at all, because the screen had shut down to standby mode. He thought maybe he was just tired, because nothing could be there, especially not what he thought he saw.

He could have sworn he had seen a face! But when he looked directly at the computer the face was gone. The only thing there was a blank screen. He knew it hadn't been there, but somehow it still disturbed him, so he decided just to watch TV for awhile instead. There was just something not right about that face! TV might give him a little bit of a break anyway. He knew he was on that computer too much. But soon enough he was back on his trusty computer again, forgetting it ever happened.

It was a few days later that he was walking past the computer when he saw the face again! This time he got a slightly better look at it. He still only saw it out of the corner of his eye, and when he looked directly at the screen it was gone. But he saw that face! It was a hideously demonic face, and it seemed to be studying him. He was now becoming afraid, but he was a logical man. He knew things like that couldn't exist.

The only problem was that in the back of his mind he could still see that face, and he was still afraid. What did it want? Why had it come to him? He soon began to avoid the computer, afraid of seeing that face. But he also wanted to see it again, if only to confirm what he saw. He began to think of a plan.

He stayed away from the computer for a whole day, which was very difficult for him to do, even with his fear. Then he picked a good time to do what he had to do. He casually walked past the computer, being very careful not to look directly at it. There it was! It was that evil disgusting face! He stopped, still not looking right at it, but examining it from the side of his vision. The face was not just a still image. It was actually moving, studying him.

He then quickly turned to look at it, but it disappeared just like the other times. He now decided he wasn't going to let it scare him. It would not win! He would use his computer any time he wanted, and he would just have to always look directly at it. He soon forgot all about the face as he learned about another new technology. It was called the internet.

As soon as he could, he found an internet provider in his area. He had to have this! This would connect him to the world! The face on the screen was forgotten. He was one of the first people in his area to have a connection to the internet, and he loved everything about it. It was like having a gigantic computer that could do anything.

He was soon telling everybody he knew about this new miracle. None of them seemed to care back then, until the day he didn't show up to work. He never missed a day of work, so this was very strange. They never saw him again. It soon became apparent to all of those who knew him that something was wrong. Finally, the police were called because he hadn't been seen for a very long time.

When they finally went inside his house, they found his body about ten feet away from his computer. The corpse was decomposing, but they could clearly see a look of terror on his face. They later determined that he had died of a simple heart attack. They decided it was nothing more than that. But what had scared him so badly? They never found out.

He had never told anyone about the face on the computer screen, but there were other random people throughout the world who had begun to report an oddly disturbing thing on their computers. They were seeing an evil face out of the corner of their eyes, but when they looked directly at the computer they saw nothing. All of them have internet connections. Some think it's just a computer virus, but others suspect something much worse, something evil. Have you seen this face?