A Haunted Soul Episode 5
How could this have happened to me? I did the things I was supposed to do in my life. Then I was murdered and left stranded here in this horrible limbo of searching outside the castle each night after night, after night. This is just not fair! The nights, years, and decades that have now passed since this first happened have been long and agonizing. And yet I'm still stranded here in this horrible place I once called home!
Each long night is the same as the one before, and the one before that! My time has consisted solely of this endless searching for some way out of this. How long has it been? I'm not really sure anymore. My time here has been so long. I know it has now been several generations, but I'm just not sure how many. I suspect my sanity may have slipped away from me long ago because of this horrible lonely searching, but who am I to say?
And now on top of it all, the night is miserably foggy once again. I never used to care about bad weather, but that was before I had to wander around outside at night in the middle of the fog so many many times. Even though I am now just a disembodied spirit I still feel the cold, and I feel the damp clammy air. I can't see the sky and the stars, and I can barely see my arms out in front of me. I hate this!
I do know it has been a very long time now that I've been out here searching for any sign that might lead me to Heaven. I paid attention to events around me for the first several years, but it soon became tiresome. Nothing significant ever really changed for me. The only thing that changed were the people in the castle, and they didn't even know I was here.
The few friends and family I had have now long since died of old age. I didn't really know my family very well anyway, but a few of my servants were very dear to me. I have always suspected though that it was a family member who had me assassinated. But now even that doesn't matter because that person, whoever they might have been, is long since dead and gone. And none of them are out here with me!
Even the castle is empty now. Apparently the last of my murderer's heirs have died out. Either that or no heir thought my castle was good enough for them. The whole bunch have no honor anyway. Who will take care of the town now? I wonder what has become of it. Maybe one of these nights somebody will come back to the castle. And wouldn't it be wonderful if somebody could see me? I know that will never happen though. I wish it could.
I haven't had anyone to talk to since before my death. I'm not even sure anymore what I might say to someone. "Hello, I'm a miserable ghost. What about you?" I guess I always have myself to talk to, but all I have for myself are questions. It took many years, but I began asking myself if I did something to deserve this foul imprisonment.
I wondered if maybe I had been a bad person in life. I always felt as if I did the things I was supposed to do, but what if I didn't? Was I a cruel master to my people? I never thought I was, but what did the people think? The town was always prosperous under my rule. The people never went hungry or needed anything more. I always made it a point to visit them at least once a month to check.
One thing I liked to do was to pick a townsman to go hunting with me. There I would always treat him as an equal, and we would have the best time both of us had ever had before. I did this for two reasons. One was to show the people what kind of person I was. Two was to find out personally how my people were doing. But there was another reason. I was lonely, and I wanted a friend. That old loneliness was nothing compared to this hell that I now exist in.
I wish I could visit my town now and check on the people. I worry about them still, even though I must admit that my search is my overwhelmingly primary worry. But it's not as if I'm going anywhere. Out in this fog I'd get lost if I tried. I hate fog. I can't see the sky. I want to look up and see the shining stars, but this horrible fog is clinging to everything, even my lonely lost soul. This is a bad night!